Well a funny thing happened at a gig the other day
When a man approached me with a resume
And said 'if you need any help, then I m your man.'
He said, 'I ll work the door, I ll load your gear if you boys Get thirsty, I ll go for beer, and if it ever breaks down, I can Even fix your van'
When I asked the guy what he did for work I saw a twinkle in his eye and he gave a little smirk he said, 'I work right down the Road, I ve got a melon stand.
Set up in a shady spot, I sell watermelon and a little good pot, And last year I made damn near thirty grand.'
He said, 'I need a change and I love your sound, I sure Would like to get out of this town and dedicate my life to a Rock and roll band.
I ve been a race car mechanic and a body guard, I m a CPA and I work real hard.
Come on and hire me on, I can see you boys need a hand.'
'You know I ve done it all and been around Had a lot of good jobs, seen a lot of rough towns.
I d like to offer you my services for hire.
I was a cook in the army and I drove a jeep, I had an Eighty acre ranch where I ran some sheep, I sang bass in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.'

Chorus:
He s a resume man, he s a resume man.
If he can t do it, I don t know who can
It says right here, he s qualified
Fifty years on the job but the man is only forty-five.

But things started getting a little weird
When he stared at Mike and took a swig of beer,
And said, 'What s with the lady, she really blows my mind.'
Well I know the man was qualified, he d worked a hundred Different jobs, done them all with pride but he wasn t exactly the Help we d hope to find.

Chorus